Hola!
Well, I’m back, baby! Your Grams had a hell of a time cruisin’ between the Bahamas and Mexico. Denise did, too. She might even still be sleeping it off! Last time I wrote you, I was digging around for some long-lost swimsuits for the trip we booked while we were piss-drunk.
Now, I’m sitting here, smiling like a pig in shit, sunburnt where the sun don’t shine, and mainlining another mug of tea after conquering miles of buffet dining. Let me tell you something – cruise life isn’t all what they advertise on the brochures!
By the time Denise and I cleared security to get on the boat in Miami, which took forever since they were VERY interested in my socks, we were ready to party. But, after we checked into our tomb-sized rooms, the crew tried to round us up to do a buncha stupid kid games.
I mean, hello? The median age of this boat is 70+; we’re here to get loose, not play pin the tail on the donkey. So, we booked it to the dining hall to sniff out other, you know, opportunities, and to start taking advantage of the all-inclusiveness we paid for.
Don’t you know, just as I was sitting down to a plate of mac ‘n cheese, Denise comes scurrying over and says she’s got the 411 on where the real action is. She leads me over to a table of oldies which included, if I may say so myself, some quite attractive older gentlemen.
Now, before you get your panties in a twist, no, I’m not bringing home Grandad II (the thought!). However, we certainly did accept their invitation to their karaoke shindig later that night. So, as we drifted towards the Bahamas, Denise and I kicked off the trip in style, putting back margaritas and bothering the marine life with our noise pollution.
I don’t want to bore you with every detail of my trip – I didn’t even get that many photos to upload to Facebook. Actually, on second thought, that’s probably a good thing considering that I don’t exactly remember everything. But, I just wanted to let you know that I made it back to port and am recuperating fine. Although I think Harold got a little too used to my absence. Judging by the constant low growl from under the bed, he was hoping I was gone for good.
I hope that you’re off to a good start this week! I’m going to go meet some of the girls for our regular walk and so I can fill them all in on the good stuff.
Much love,
Grams