New Year, New Grams

Time to shake a leg

Hi Hun, 

It sure was nice seeing you at the holidays! I’ve finished the epic family visitation tour (with rave reviews and several standing ovations, I’m sure) and have finally made it back to my humble abode. Harold is still alive and thriving, despite me hinting to the sitter that it wouldn’t be the worst thing if he escaped to the wilderness to hunt cattle or whatever unhinged, feral cats do. 

Don’t worry, I couldn’t actually ever bring myself to leave that smelly bag of bones out in the cold. At least, not yet. Anyway, do you have any New Year’s resolutions? New job? New boyfriend? New haircut? New will to live? I kid, I kid! Kind of. 

I used to make resolutions, but I would lose track of them so easily. Especially when you get caught up with kids and life, the days seem to meld into each other, and all of a sudden, it’s December 31st again and that whole new year of possibility has slipped through your fingers. When you’re as old as me, every year kind of feels the same, just with different aches and pains. 

I expected the same this New Year’s, but recently, I’ve started to feel a little off. A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night totally confused. For a few minutes, I had no freaking clue where I was. My bedroom seemed so small and narrow, and the ceiling impossibly high. I got out of bed and stood in the living room, searching for a flicker of familiarity.

Then, a shadow moved from behind the curtain and I nearly pissed myself. It was Harold, who hissed at me and launched himself onto the couch where he neatly sliced open a pillow. That snapped me out of it, but the feeling that something’s not quite right has stayed with me.

I know that it’s not abnormal to wake up confused when you’ve been traveling like I have, but I’m convinced that it’s not just that. When I was doing errands downtown, I saw Denise and her Cruise Boyfriend flirting over a stack ‘o flapjacks through the diner window. They must have just gotten back from their New Year’s Eve cruise and I caught myself staring when I realized that it’s been a while since Denise and I spent time together. 

Of course, we’re still friends and catch up from time to time, but we’ve both been busy and it just feels like a different wind is coming through town, signaling the need to change. Like, when I went to Dunkin’ Donuts to read the paper, I nearly spit out my coffee when I saw Lizzy’s house in the real estate section. 

There was a picture of the house huddled on the lawn, withered by winter, along with a snapshot of the living room, complete with a granny launcher. All traces of Lizzy had already been moved out. I knew she had passed, there was no way she would have willingly left that house after all that time. 

The bustle inside Dunks hummed along. Employees pushed breakfast sandwiches through the toaster, people picked up their orders, and children played with toys while their parents gossiped at a corner table. Soon, some young family would move into Lizzy’s old house, smitten with the  good bones and the potential. Within a year it would be reset as the stage for someone else’s life. 

I guess it hit me then, that one day it would be my house in the paper, and I had no idea what to do with the time between now and then. To be honest, I thought my plan-making days were long over. Hell, I thought that was the point of retirement. Actually, the fact that I’m even retired is a goddamn miracle thanks to Marge and I blackmailing the union head to let us ladies in so we could receive pension. But that’s a story for another day.

What I’m trying to say is that I never accounted for this time. So, after some thought (ok, it was a few hours and a couple of beers) I decided that it’s time for a change, at least temporarily. Remember that penpal, Trevor, I met while on that cruise last year? Well, I emailed him and arranged for a visit to Maine. I’ve gotten myself a room at an inn in town and I’m going to spend some time just exploring and checking out some of these trade shows that Trevor sells his bird houses at. 

It’s just a short visit, I’ll be traveling in about a week and to be honest, all I want is a change of scenery, and maybe a change of perspective. I’m looking forward to getting to see Trevor, but also to spending time with my own thoughts. Of course, I’ll report back and let you know what kind of shenanigans I get up to. 

Until then, try to fully appreciate a whole year of new possibilities!

Love, 

Grams